Funnies from Tyson

Tyson came clomping into the kitchen in Thomas' shoes one morning yelling, "Cole, you be my wife! Cole! You be my wife!"

 

Today we read the story of Isaac and Rebekah, and Rebekah's journey on camels back to Isaac. Trying to keep them engaged in the story I asked, "If you had a camel, what would you name it?" Tyson: "Lightning". Cole: "Chick Hicks". Sigh...the "Cars" movie is never far from their minds.

 

Cole, in a rare moment of brotherly cameraderie, runs into the garage to get a different ride-on for Tyson that will meet the need that Tyson is currently frustrated over with his first ride-on. While Cole is gone Tyson says expectantly under his breath, "I'm waiting for the Cole-meister to come back." He calls Cole all the things we do. It's hysterical to see him laying beside Cole after a nap, patting Cole's head going, "It's time to wake up, lovie."

 

Tyson really likes talking like a big person even if he doesn't know or understand how to use all the words. Tonight he was trying to lord it over Cole concerning something birthday related and said, "After my nap will be my next birthday! My nap will be TWO YEARS LONG and then my birthday!" So there, Cole, you have been told off.

 

We were playing outside one morning and I was distracted by Cole but in my subconscious I could hear Tyson repeatedly saying something. Finally Tyson says, "Mom! I'm asking you a 'Kuh-West-Chun!" Hearing that little voice so articulately use that word for the first time was so endearing.

 

Tyson has a little running game of pretending to wipe Thomas's kisses off when Thomas kisses him. Last night Tyson throws something across the room. We have a "no throwing in the house rule" so Thomas reminds him nicely and gives him 2 pops on his bottom. They weren't hard enough to hurt, lesson learned. Tyson steps back from Thomas, looks him in the eye, and says, "I'm gonna wipe your spanking off!" Thomas was a champ, keeping a completely serious face while dealing with the disrespect before coming to giggle with me in the kitchen!

 

Tyson bashes Cole's train this afternoon. I tell him to come here. "Are you gonna spank me?" he wails. I pick him up and calmly tell him yes. "On my bottom or my hand?" he wails loudly. "On your bottom." He gives a loud wail then looks at me defiantly and blubbers with fervor, "I LOVE HARD SPANKINGS!" I thought I must've heard him wrong, so I said, "Did you say you love hard spankings?" "YES! i DO love hard spankings!" It's always nice to spank with a smile on my face :)

 

Cole went back to preschool today. Tyson missed him, and while we were eating lunch after he came home Tyson says, "Cole, tell me about your day today" just like a little mother. When Cole got distracted Tyson persisted with another request for details. He legitimately wanted to know how his day was! So cute!

 

 

Tyson was trying to find his cup one day and whining about it. Cole said, "Tyson, want me to help you find your cup?" "Yes," says Tyson, "You are my friend, Cole."

 

Tyson was playing by himself one day and I listened in on his conversation with himself in time to hear, "I'll text your email and you come get my forklift."

 

Tyson is very imaginative in general. I just went to get him up from his nap. I open the door, he smiles big and the first words out of his mouth are, "I told that peacock (pointing to the ceiling fan - this is the ceiling fan's second day as a peacock in a post-nap-time story) to get on the train, and I told Tigger (grabbing his stuffed animal) that he has a very long tail and he can use it to hang from a tree. That peacock...." and the story goes on. He's right, the ceiling fan is old-school and the brackets on it do look like a peacock's tail. It's his nap-time friend.

 

Both boys watched "Cars" the movie for the first time over New Years and became an instant obsession. For months Tyson called "Lightning McQueen" by his own version of the name, "Hello Queen."

 

We went to the Agriculture Museum one day. On our way there, Thomas was looking up admission and said, "Oh, Tyson's free." Without even looking up from his book in the back seat Tyson interjects, "No, I'm two!"

 

Tyson is playing "baby bird" and has made himself a little nest on the couch. I tell him it's time to go for a nap and ask him to pick up a couple cars and bring them to his room. He replies apologetically, "Mom, the baby bird has wings so he can't pick up cars."

Tyson went from being obsessively interested in bugs to obsessively terrified of them. He currently sees all creatures as being interested in eating any other creature they come in contact with. And his inability to understand size impossibilities (ladybugs can't eat cats, etc) gives him no logical help for the phobia. He gets frantic and hysterical if a moving bug gets close to him or anyone he loves. A mosquito hawk was dead in the corner of the garage, but he wouldn't go get anything to play with because he would have to pass by the dead bug to get a toy. The obsession with things eating other things has extended to humans. Today I was reading them Bible stories out of a new storybook at breakfast, and it went something like this: Me reading about Esther, Mordecai, and Haman. The moment I turn the page to them Tyson says (speaking of Haman), "Does he have his bad face on?" "Yes," I say. "Is he going to eat her?" "No, Tyson, people don't eat other people." He lets me get a few sentences out, then, "Is that lady going to eat that man?" We go through people not eating people again. A few more sentences, then Tyson: "What is that animal in the corner?" "Looks like a cheetah," I say. A few more sentences about Esther. Tyson: "Is that cheetah going to eat that man?" "No, cheetahs don't eat people." Cole gets interested at this point: "What DO cheetahs eat?" "Well, they eat zebras and wildebeests..." Tyson immediately pipes in and satisfactorilly says, "and caterpillars." Somehow that has helped him lay to rest death for the time being. I'm getting blessedly close to the end of the story, but now Cole has had a few moments to mull over the cheetah's food choices, and he's quite aware of size constraints. "HOW do the cheetahs eat the zebras?" Cole wants to know. I stumble through the least gruesome explanation I can think of and whew, now we all know the story of Queen Esther. This is how Bible reading typically goes for us, I hope that gives you hope :)

We were reading "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go" this morning. There's a bus with a duck driving it with a girlie looking hat and shawl on. Tyson is chatting about the page and points to the duck and says, "That's Mom Duck". I've never heard this name before, but he seems confident. "What is her name?" I ask. "Mom Duck" says Tyson. Thinking a moment I say, "Do you mean Mother Goose?" "Yep" he says, as though that's what he had said all along. hahaha